once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Randomize
