Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
