Whats the glycemic index on semen?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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