We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
