ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
vagina is talking i cant
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
