thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
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My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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