Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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