Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
