capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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