hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
he's gonorrhea incarnate
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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