I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
