My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
