My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
