Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I wish I only lived at night.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
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I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
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Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize