When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
