I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
