There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
