I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize