Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize