That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
