nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
