Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
