loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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