I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
