fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
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