how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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