Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
