nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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