Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I lost the right to judge tonight
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
