Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
