its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
