ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
