Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
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how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
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She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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