i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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