sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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