Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
