Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
