My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
