She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
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