or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
He literally asked permission to hit on me
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
