Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
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We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
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I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
They have beer where we have blood.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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