actually, I'm a sock model
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
