have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
