dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize