I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
