Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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