How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
