i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I didn't notice because vodka
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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