If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
barbara walters just said penis...
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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