im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
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Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
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I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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