She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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