One girl and one boy is just not enough.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
