hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
