I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize