It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
