We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Randomize
