i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Help. Why am I so naked?
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