Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
